Teenagers and Divorce

Dealing with separating parents can be difficult for teenage children, especially when trying to come up with suitable custody and living arrangements, writes Adelaide family and divorce lawyer Jane Miller. 

At Tindall Gask Bentley Lawyers, we are often consulted by separating couples to give advice about what living arrangements should be put in place for children of all ages.  For teenagers, we are often asked if they can choose where they will live. The Courts have jurisdiction to determine living arrangements for children until they are 18 years old.

The Family Law Act allows the Courts to take into account any views expressed by a child when determining what living arrangements are best for that child after parental separation. The Act is drafted in such a manner that the views of the child are not the only consideration in determining their future living arrangements.  However, the older and more mature the child is, then the more likely it is that that Court will make an order consistent with the child’s wishes.

The impact of this is that we rarely see people litigating in the Family Law Courts about this issue for children over 15 years of age, as parents will generally reach an agreement based upon the child’s wishes. Unfortunately if parents attempt to seek orders in Court which are inconsistent with the wishes of an older child, they run the risk of alienating that child and doing more harm than good to the relationship.

Unfortunately parents often suspect that a child’s wishes are being unduly influenced by the other parent. This is difficult to resolve as the child will often genuinely believe that they have formed their own independent views, even if this is not the case.  To try to force the child into a living arrangement which is inconsistent with those views can undermine the child’s relationship with that parent.

Sometimes parents will jointly commission the preparation of a Family Assessment Report by a psychologist. The psychologist will interview both parents and the child to ascertain the child’s views and give recommendations to the parents about future care arrangements. This is particularly useful if there is doubt or conflict over the child’s views.

Following separation, our firm often recommends that parents participate in child inclusive mediation with teenage children so the child has a safe forum to express their views.  An appropriately experienced mediator will help an adolescent child communicate their wishes.   Provided that parents are open minded and willing to give children a chance to express themselves, this is often the most appropriate method for working out the living arrangements for teens and ensuring a healthily ongoing relationship with each parent.

If post-separation parenting plans are handled sensitively by parents and by appropriately involving the adolescent, then the child can hope to have a meaningful and loving relationship with both parents into the future.

For more information on this topic, view a report into parental separation from an adolescent perspective by the Australian Institute of Family Studies here.

TGB is South Australia’s largest family law firm. For further information or assistance with your family law issue contact your nearest TGB office.